Since my ex wife divorced me nearly two years ago, having to move out of the family home which I’d paid a mortgage for and move into rented accommodation I’ve suffered immensely with anxiety and depression.
Some days I’ve found it hard to get out of bed.
Some weeks I didn’t eat for 2-3 weeks at a time. Living on apple juice and yoghurts.
I’ve not exercised (or even moved much) for nearly two years.
I’ve lost 25lbs – mostly muscle mass.
I’ve ascended most fells in The Lake District and Ben Nevis twice.
And here I was today. Having to get my flu jab. I decided to walk it to try and get the old legs and lungs working. I was dreading it.
On the way I’m sure two snails overtook me…
I made a massive mistake. I believed my marriage / family WAS my life. I believed in it. And in the process lost who I was. My identity was my family.
I devoted almost 30 years to my wife and then son. Then I was abandoned and betrayed.
And you know…I didn’t just lose my family and my home. I lost my family meals, my family dog walks, my holidays, birthdays, Christmases and Easter’s. My future. I live on my own now and at times I don’t see anyone for weeks at a time apart from my weekly shopping excursion.
I’m slowly trying to find myself again. I need to get back into:
- Training both resistance and cardio
I’m slowly coming out of the ‘nose dive’. At times I was very very ill. Both physically and mentally.
I’d never known anything like it.
I’ve bought a new camera – a Canon R7. I know ‘buying things’ isn’t the answer. I’m just hoping it’ll give me a little incentive to ‘get out there’!
Wish me luck!